i asked for nothing less.

don’t speak to me
about sweet annihilation,
about a love,
a god
that obliterates
when we have lived
this perfect obliteration
our bodies counting
moons and seasons –
barely able to contain
the exuberance of bird song
in spring and the quiet
perfect longing
of winters’ dark night.
for generations
we have thrown our bones
to the forest floor
rested hip and rib
to soil and rock
until the gnarling roots
could read the runes
of our ancestors
etched in living flesh.
and when that living
becomes mothering
as it sometimes does,
it it comes with blood
and a meeting
on the threshold
between worlds –
this is not a metaphor,
death attends every birth
as door keeper to the infinite.
do you think our bodies
would not break open to birth them,
did you think our hearts would not break
with this love.
it is hard not to be enraptured –
deliciously swallowed
by their perfect need
as they grow and flourish and love
and again that sweet annihilation takes us willingly
and for a while we are no more.
but the day comes, as days do,
when our daughters stand beside us,
women of blood and earth and sky
ready for the night stars
to sing us skinless to the moon
until our eyes
drunk with beauty
can see no more
and we stumble ourselves homeward
to dream the world anew.

in the morning there is tea
and voices of the living
and a school bus down the hill
before seven.

 

WhatsApp Image 2020-02-19 at 19.17.26

One thought on “i asked for nothing less.

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