beloved,

beloved,

i cannot swear allegiance
to your god. if it is he
who is to be the face of the beloved
then i am truly lost –
but goddess help me
i have felt the ocean in my bones,
burned with the fire
of a thousand petty suns
longing for a god made manifest.
and i know my tears
are nothing to the rain
and these hills laid
themselves down
long before i ever did,
but sometimes the sky
is not enough
and the thunder that plays me
singing bowl to the river
is nothing
to the sound
of your voice.

 

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walking away(again)

 

let me feel the
moon in the sky –
feel the tide rise
crashing pulsing waves
that animal my limbs
and fidget my fingers,
let me speak in
the tongues of the crazy
and the loved,
the muttering who
saw the world
when the rising moon
still mattered.
there is no sleeping
in this starless sky.
let me be the crone
the hag, the scare in your dark,
uglier than all your imaginings.
let daylight not find
the sky in my eyes
until this night
has walked me.
look – the moon rises,
ready or not
i rise too.

 

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estuary

and sometimes we wake
face down amongst the debris
of the tide line, sea grass entangled
sun pulling salt skin taut across our bones.
there is no knowing our name
or how it is we came here
but there is a thirst in us
and across the mudflats,
beyond the driftwood and bodies of creatures
forgotten by the ocean when the estuary mouth
was breached, is water.
and there is nothing to be done
but to drag yourself to that water
fall to your knees in the shallows
and let it teach you how to pray
to live adrift
a creature of the dark pools
and golden sand
creature of the soft pulling tides
and slow moon rising –
lulling you to sleep
until you dream and you remember
the course of the ocean in your veins
the rush and plummet of the waves
pulling aqua before obliterating
every part of you that
thought you were not the ocean.

and you know you have died
on those mudflats before
and you know you will die there again
just to be ocean once more
salt in your blood, hum of whales in your bones
and breath enough to live by.

and everything in you turns towards that ocean
feeling for the tide that will breach the river mouth.

 

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Shallow

sunday morning

i woke to find infinity
had taken the space
below my ribs where
sometimes the world waits
with words like you and i.
rolling my eyes inwards
i could see vast
oceans of starscapes
above and below
the silent horizon.
i lay still, steady breathing
that sweet salt sea
so as not to spill the ocean
flooding my veins
with transient magic of starlight
on deep water,
while outside my window
the sun rose
turning darkness
to leaf and tree.

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the egrets

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of course they would come
holding bits of night
in dark shadows under white wings
that whisper low along the road
sighing across the rooftops.
they will find the moon before it sets.
beyond the hilled horizon
where it has already plunged
orange and silent behind the trees,
they will find the moon beyond these hills
where vast ocean horizons
wait.

one love

if i have made a god of you
i am sorry.
if i have built
alters and shrines
to the beauty of your being
only to sacrifice my
self at your feet,
i ask for pardon.
if i have worshiped
at the temple of you,
taken your name in vain
in the quiet of the night,
forgive me.
though divinity lives in us all
in its blinding epiphany of oneness
it is our earth bound humanity
the longing in limbs and gut
that binds us
blood and bone and heart.